"What would you have me do?" I asked, lip caught in my teeth, a nervous habit, I knew; and I knew it would get me into trouble again.

"Stop chewing your lip for starters." The High Priestess chided as a mother would to an erring child, "Half of your duties are to ACT like the priestess you are. Or no one will ever listen to what you have to tell them" She turned on me, her hawk like eyes rakeing across my narrow shouldered frame, eyeing me like a piece of meat going out to market. The gods damn me, I hate that look.

I did what I could to stand as she did. Her posture was perfect, she looked like the statues of the goddess's out side, tall, elegent, with shoulders just broad enough and hips that were slim. I, I am sure, resemebled a strutting peacock, and a bad one at that. My shoulders far to thin, and hips that matched their width made me look like one of the time pieces on the head master of history's desk he used to time our tests. "I am afraid, High Priestess" I said softly, my voice meak, that commanding tone almost impossissable to force out of my throat, "That I am simply not physically cut out for this task. I am most aparently an outlander, even more so dressed in these robes." I huffed at a dark curl that dropped into my eyes, again not the straight blond locks they loved in this place. "I fear I will do nothing but garnish their laughter, and then their ire." I paused and sighed and tried to give a soft little laugh, "At least if they throw vegitables at me, I can bring a salad to dinner tonight..."

I trailed off at the look the High Priestess gave me, and as she moved over I winced, expecting a blow across the face for speaking my mind. Instead she grabbed me and turned me to face out the window, to look down at the training grounds where my An'garat trained to improve themselves, to one day hopefully take their chance in the ceremony of light to stand closest to me. "Look out there." her voice is hard and yet, some how comforting, "Look out there at the men that would do anything for you. At your command they would lay down their lives for you. They would give themselves up on the alter to An'kah if you but told them to." she forced me to look down at the men I had come to love like brothers. "They fight and practice down there not for me, not for our gods, but for one Shaeqin Tondalla" her hand tightened on my shoulder, "Do not tell me you cannot command men, girl." She turned and left, leaving me, my hands white nuckled on the stone window sill, watching the training field.

Some times, I really hated the hand fate had delt me....